Dating a Yoruba Demon

Sometimes ladies, we do love a bad boy don’t we! We are so easily attracted to them and it can’t be helped. They are charming, well dressed, know the right things to say and do to totally impress us.

This time around, I will be writing about the aptly named “Yoruba demons” or as they have renamed themselves “Yoruba angels”.

What or shall I say, Who is a yoruba demon?

A Yoruba demon is typically a young man of Yoruba (the Yoruba is a tribe predominantly found in South West Nigeria ) descent who has the uncanny gift to effortlessly make ladies fall head over heels in love with him. He is naturally a gifted smooth talker and prides himself in been able to acquire a huge followership of female admirers and side chicks. He is also gifted at absolving himself of any responsibility in his relationships. Generally, he is a seductive cock-tail of sweet and bitter.

There is no going back after you date a Yoruba demon, you keep coming back for more.

Also, the Yoruba demon does usually tries to come back, after you think you’ve ended things, they will at some point contact you to see if they can “hook up”.

 

Just to add, this definition now includes all tribes and not solely the Yoruba guys however,  you will most times come across a lot more of them being yoruba. (Sorry guys)

DISCLAIMER: This terminology does not cover all men!!!! There are some truly amazing Yoruba guys out there.

I should also say my dear friends, International Demons are a thing too!!!! Like WOW!!!

The International Demon is rather similar to the Yoruba demon but these guys can be based anywhere in the world but travel a lot for “work” hmmm. They have the same swag, charm and know how to make a girl swoon. This may have to be a story for another day so I don’t digress too much from this story.

 

Before I go on, I want to say that not all guys that cheat fall into this category, some guys (and girls) are just simply insatiable and out for their own gain. They want to have their cake, eat it and keep the 6 pack (stole that line from a friend – it’s just too good!)

 

Anyway, back to our darling Yoruba demons.

 

After my recent experience and thinking back on past relationships and my situationship, also hearing about other people’s stories, I have been wondering, what brings about the creation of a Yoruba demon?  

 

Let’s see if we can get any enlightenment from Tola & Debo’s situationship story:

Tola’s Story on dating a demon:
Your typical yoruba demon knows the right things to do and his tongue is sweet, he also knows how to look good and carries himself very well:

Being with Debo was something of a whirlwind romance that turned sour so quickly and I totally missed the signs because I was so caught up in the “Debo lifestyle”!

The initial 6 months of us being together was great, dates, movie nights in and doing a lot together.

He would go out of his way to try new things all in the name of taking me somewhere amazing. He really did put a lot of thought into everything he did.

I met Debo at this swanky rooftop bar in the city, I was out with a friend and it was apparently his “local” bar that he frequented (as you do).

Initially, I was not interested, he was just this guy that knew my friend. He came over to say hi  to her so I didn’t make any effort but he was friendly and also very polite. I may not have been interested but I was impressed. This guy well dressed, H to T, smelt good too and offered to buy our drinks. Hmmm, it’s been a while since that happened but he wasn’t my type so meh!

After the night out, my friend tells me that she got a message from her friend and that he wanted to know if he could have my number.

‘Really? Why didn’t he just come over at the bar and ask himself! Besides, did you see all those girls hanging on his every word and watching his every move? No, thanks. Don’t think I want the headache.’

 

‘Hun, don’t be silly! He’s a nice guy. Just go on the date and you’ll have fun! So, can I give him your number?’

 

‘Yeah, sure… why not!’

 

Yoruba Demons know how to impress a girl they are trying to get:

First date and we are at another really cool rooftop bar, had a quiet little table in the corner. He ordered my favorite bottle of wine and we talked all night. This guy was so charming and the conversation was easy, a bit of banter, jokes thrown in, he got my sense of humor and had a good sense of humor too.

At the end of the night he ordered a cab for me and he didn’t even try to go in for a kiss. I mean, we had been drinking all night, I was tipsy and he didn’t even try to make a move?! Damn!!!

I woke up to a text from him asking if I got home safe and how my head was (LOL) and asking me out on date number two.

Followed by a call shortly after because he wasn’t a texter and just wanted to talk and hear my voice…. Double swoon!
Side Note: being a Nigerian in London, one way or another people will always know people and you will most likely find yourself at an event or party with someone you know at one point in time or another.

 

The point to the above is, that I love afrobeat (style of music, if you’re not sure) and I would not say no to going to an afrobeats night and it turns out that Debo and I knew the same group of people and ended up at similar nights out.

I had gone from not knowing this guy and somehow never noticing him to him being at some of the club nights I went to.

LIke, how did I never notice him before?? Silly question really… you know those guys in a club that turn up with the shades on, have the table and are literally surrounded by girls.

Anyhu, back to the double swoon! Debo, knew how to impress a girl and he was good at it. I had to ask the question – ‘Hey, how comes you’re still single? Like, I don’t mean to offend you or anything but I’ve been having such a great time with you so I just wondered’

I would also like to blame the wine for the no filter or word vomit moment!

He took it well though; ‘oh, I was in this long term relationship and just looking for something solid, you know. I go out a lot and sometimes you meet people especially in clubs or bars and it’s just not what I’m after…’

And of course, the conversation went on to what we were both looking for in terms of life and relationships and again we had another great conversation and I thought wow things are going so well but I’m not sure… there’s just something I can’t put my finger on. Anyway, it’s early days so who knows, right?!

 

From Whirlwind to slow paced

I’d like to say, I didn’t know when things changed but that would be a lie. It was there from the get go but I was dazzled by the romance of it all. However, by the time I had talked myself into possibly being with Debo long term, my eyes suddenly opened up, the rose tinted goggles had finally come off.

 

Another point – If his phone is busy or switched off from Friday night to Sunday morning, yoruba demon.

For instance, I’m busy tonight cause I’m out and I’ve got a friend staying at my place because she’s not able to get home at that time of the night but I’ve got an amazing treat for you lined up.

And I’d be like ‘oh ok cool see you soon and have fun.’ When I then try to call him, no answer or it goes straight to voicemail.

That changed and I started to actually hear what was being said …WOAH “she”???? How is that ok???

 

Another example: During the whirlwind period, when we turned up at the same night out, I’d sit there, enjoy the “attention” and drinks and all that was happening around me, ignore the side eyes from people. I know I’d get dropped off at home or get a taxi ordered to take me home (yay!)

Without the rose tinted goggles – We’re at the club and I am now beginning to notice the girls shooting daggers at me and looking like they wanted to knock me out whenever he came over to talk to me. Also, I began to notice the side eyes he was giving girls who he’d later be at the bar buying drinks for. All in the name of being “Mr Nice Guy”.

 

I would try to address these issues and Debo would tell me I was being silly and it was nothing to worry about but I was seeing these things now, the glasses were off and I wasn’t going to just accept the razzle dazzle of fancy dinners and gifts. Like if we are going to be serious this can’t be happening and I told Debo that was how I felt. I mean we had that kind of relationship right. We can talk to each other about anything…. Or so I thought.

 

I saw a post once and it read something along the lines of;

When your guys texts go from

“Good morning beautiful”

to

“Good morning”

To

“GM” You know he’s no longer that into you.

 

Well, that’s how it went…. The messages started to change, the date nights went to nights at home and the I’m not a texter changed to maybe a couple of texts a week and no calls.

 

Another point – If he never answers the phone when you’re together, yoruba demon

One saturday morning, I’m at his place and his phone is ringing like crazy while he is in the bathroom, some girl, calling non-stop and then she texts, what should I wear today, is there a dress code or just casual?

Er…. what??!!! I’m confused… ‘Debo, your phone has been ringing non-stop and your “friend” is asking you what she should wear??? Didn’t realise we were going out. I thought you said you were going to your parents for the day?’

 

‘Yeah, I am going to my parents. She’s just asking because I know the guy who is hosting the party so guess she thought to ask me?’

 

‘Oh… really??? Ok…’ They are also sweet with lies and sharp in their reply.

 

Yeah, look I won’t be gone for long, just hang out here and cook us something good for dinner, yeah! Thanks

 

He got back that night later than he had said and his dinner ready and waiting, I was getting ready for bed but I was vexed! ‘Why did you tell me you’ll be back soon when you know you were going to be late? Why did you ask me to make any dinner if you knew you won’t make it back anyways??? Besides, you said you were going to your parents and there’s a picture of you on insta at some BBQ what is that about??? Like what is this and why are you doing this?’

 

‘No, no, it’s not like that! My friend that text earlier said her friend that was meant to go with her to the party couldn’t make it and she didn’t want to go alone. It was on my way home and I didn’t plan on being there for long but you know I just lost track of time. I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you and you know I’d prefer to come home and have a home cooked meal anyways. Sorry ok.

Come and join me, I don’t want to eat alone. Besides! You’re the one that matter more anyways’

 

Did anyone pick up on that? The part where he said “you’re the one that matter more anyways” part. You did?! Ok, cause I did too but I also missed it. I missed it because he went straight on to asking me how I was, what I did all day and what I had planned for the rest of the weekend etc. So, whilst I picked up on the comment, I also totally missed it or rather, I didn’t get the chance to react.

 

SIDE NOTE: In my last blog, I mentioned how to get a girl to easily forgive you for being in the wrong, this right here is how to do it. Charm your way in and make it all about the girl not about you. Looks like that tends to work.

 

Another point of view I’ve heard with regards to the “you’re the one that matters more line”

Someone once said ‘you should look at it this way, it’s like having a favourite pair of trainers or shoes right. These shoes are the pair you would never get rid of but you still have to go out and buy or try on new shoes but they are not your favorite pair of shoes’

 

Anyway, Debo and I continued like this for a few more months but we were on a downward slope only problem is that I was so into him, I mean, he had everything I thought I wanted in a guy so if he isn’t sleeping with these girls then I can cope.

I just want to say, ladies, relationships should not be something you should stay in if you are just coping. No, when you think it’s ok to just cope with things, then you know it’s not going to work and you’re not with the person you should be with. COPING DOES NOT WORK.

 

Time to move on

I finally got tired of coping, I mean, how could I not. Things got ridiculous. I would be with Debo, he would get a call and then go out, leaving me to spend the night on my own. Get back late or sometimes the following day. Gift in hand and apologising because things just got out of hand and it was meant to be a quick drink that got wild.

 

When he wasn’t out, his phone would ring constantly and when I bothered to check the caller, it would be some girl or other calling but they were “not important“ so you know, it doesn’t matter. Right? Sigh….

I mean, there really is only so much crap a girl can take and I took as much of the crap from Debo until the night he was at mine and his phone starts ringing again this time it was midnight,  another girl and then she follows it by a text –  I thought you said you were coming over tonight? I’m waiting ;p ;p xx

 

‘Debo!!! Please come and take your phone, your friend has called like 3 times and wants to know when you are coming over?’

 

‘What friend? Look just ignore it? It’s not what you’re thinking’

 

‘Not what I am thinking??? Mate, if you’re going to try and lie your way out of this one, then you shouldn’t have your notifications on!!! You need to go and meet your “friend” and just let’s call it quits. I’m done…. I can’t deal with this anymore.’

 

‘You want me to leave? Like really? I should leave?’

 

‘Yes, just go’

 

Exits Debo.

 

The whole time we were together, I knew what I was in. I mean, there was no label but I chose to hang in there trying to cope. I knew that we won’t go anywhere because I saw the looks I got when people saw us together, the look of pity from the guys and the side looks from the girls. I saw it but chose not to “see”.

Debo had even commented that he wasn’t looking to settle down anytime soon, however, I just wasn’t hearing him.
Until I finally started to listen and see for myself. With relationships, we do have to learn from our own mistakes. It’s just the way it is, we have to live and learn. However, don’t sit in a relationship and get stupid.

 

After a long period of my situationship, I went out dancing with some friends, got chatting with one of the guys who is a mutual friend of mine and Debo. He told me that while I was with Debo, he had been dating several other girls and he was surprised that I had been with him for so long.

Debo is big on the scene so everyone knew and apparently knew his business and questioned whether I was side chic or Main chic. I would say that Debo would probably be at the top of the yoruba demon list. He certainly ticked all the boxes and more but I was lost in the demon sauce. 

 

I would love to say that leaving Debo was easy but I still liked him, he was still part of the Nigerian community so of course, I would still see him out and about and he still has that Yoruba demon charm.

My work when I do see him is to be sure I don’t get trapped by the charm again. I know the signs and hope I have learnt.

 

How did this Debo become this way though? He really is a nice person and actually really cool to hang out with and have fun with… such a waste of what could be a good man.

 

Debo’s story to follow in my next blog.

My life or a movie continued…

So the first knock out round and I think ok, I’m up and ready to attack and then boom pow the next hit…..His wife who was about 7 months pregnant and was his plus one at the wedding.  So his friend isn’t cray cray and actually allows his groomsmen to have plus ones!

 

Before I go into the rest of the story, here’s another important tip:

Surround yourself with strong, encouraging and wonderful people, both in friends and family. When you meet great friends treat them as you would want to be treated, be there for them because you never know when you’ll need their strength. My friends pretty much carried me through and I will always be grateful to be blessed with such amazing women.

 

So, here I am at home with my Friday night plans swiftly put to bed and reeling from the news and then being hit with another big news…. he has a wife !!!! A pregnant one too!!! This has got to be the worst Friday night ever!!!!

I’m sure you’re wondering how we found out it was his wife right? You may want to grab a drink for this.

I mentioned previously that I had a couple of friends going to this wedding so while one was uncovering one drama, our other friend came over to their table with some observation of her own;

Erm… is that (for the sake of the story, let’s call him Jack) Jack over there? I don’t know but he has been paying a lot of attention to that pregnant lady over there ‘and of course everyone’s attention is turned on pregnant lady. The girls then decide that they should have a chat with Jack to see if he had anything to say about the situation.

I look back and think ‘if only I could be a fly on the wall, perhaps I’d have learnt a lot more’ but I’m not fly so I learnt as events occurred.

I was home though and thankfully with another friend whom I was supposed to be going out with.  I was in a state of some sort of shock, taking calls from the girlfriend as well as trying to call Jack and then I get another call from my friend…

‘I think he’s here with his wife or something’

Basically the story goes something like this – my friend and I stepped out to talk to Jack and this pregnant lady (who we think is with him) came out after us acting all weird saying we were talking about her and laughing at her…

‘Jack, what’s going on, these girls keep looking at me and seem to be talking about me…’ and his response…  “Jill” (lol, sorry I had to). ‘Jill, get back inside’

Then I had that moment again, I think the world most have stopped!

 ‘Shit! Jill?!?! ‘

 

‘Yeah, wait you know who she is???’ 😐😐😐

 

‘OMG, I knew it, I flipping knew it! This cannot be happening!!!’

‘Who is she?!?’

‘His wife’

At this stage, I feel defeated ‘his wife’ …I hung up and cried, I cried like I’d never cried before. I had known all along and I let myself get dragged along in this charade. I cried because I was hurt and at the same time relieved (it was finally all out and it was over) and so many other reasons. It all came out in tears.  There’s no avoiding it all now, certainly can’t bury my head in the sand anymore! I wanted a no return sign and here it all was. There was no going back from this, no amount of apology or excuse could make me take him back. I was out of this drawn out relationship that I knew within me I wanted out of but at the same time, didn’t want it to be over but we were done, NO TURNING BACK!

 

How did I know Jill was the wife?

About a year into our relationship, I had my concerns and kept questioning what the heck this guy may be hiding. Something was not right!!! My gut was trying to tell me something. You know, women’s instincts and all that.

So, I did what was the only normal thing to do….GOOGLE!  They say Google is your friend right?! So come on Google let’s get to sleuthing!

Searched his name and trawled through the internet. I searched, found Jack and that he was registered at an address with Jill who has the same surname and was the only name linked to him that I could find. The information was up to date but this guy claimed he lived alone.  Also, thanks to auto-complete on my laptop, I could match his address to the one I found.

Just so you know, Jack had no social media so that was out of the question to get any information however, he had joined insta so he could “see what I posted” and Jill was one of his followers but with a private account.  Even his siblings had social media but private accounts and nothing about him.

Perhaps I should have sent messages to his siblings!!? They had facebook profiles at least but again, nothing with Jack in it. Weird!

At the time I didn’t know what to think! I should’ve just confronted him and called it quits right? Wrong, I asked him but in a roundabout way and of course he completely denied it.

We even spoke on FaceTime the Saturday after I found Jill’s name linked to his and his address, I was barely paying attention to the conversation, just looking around for signs of another person living with him. I went back through pictures he had sent me before of him in his flat and nothing.       Stupid to think I’d get anything from that, I know but I did it anyway.

 

Somehow I convinced myself that she may just be a relative or just some random family member…  you don’t have to say it! Stupid!!!   I had asked and done all I could do and gone through my “memory house” to see if anything popped out at me and nothing, so I prayed and let it go. I had no real proof and I couldn’t possibly say I’d done all those searches, could I!!!

 

Another lesson, the moment doubt creeps in and you can’t shake off that doubt. Maybe it’s time to bow out of the situation.

I however carried on, the three blind mice saw clearer than I did at this point.

So, when the name came up again, I knew exactly who she was!

 

The girlfriend and I talked again because she also just found out about the wife and she was not happy. She was going to find him and confront him, he had to explain himself! She called her friend and they drove to his place. Jack was ignoring both our calls and had left the wedding with Jill and answers were needed.

So, there’s the girlfriend on a war path and me at home trying to come to terms with everything and patiently waiting for Jack to call back and tell me it was all a bad joke.

 

He finally called, ‘look, it’s all a misunderstanding. I need to explain everything because it’s not all how it seems’

‘Jack, are you being serious right now? Not how it seems???’

 

‘I can explain everything but not over the phone, I need to explain but I need to sort things out here first, you shouldn’t have talked to anyone else before talking to me,  it’s all been twisted and messed up now but I’ll explain.’

 

So, I waited… I went through the usual motions trying to keep it together and not cry every time someone asked how I was.

The whole weekend was a struggle but I am again so blessed to have met some amazing people! My girls gave me strength to keep going. That whole weekend I just wanted to sit at home and cry but I didn’t, I wasn’t allowed to.

My best friend called and told me to get my butt up and go out and live my life because life goes on and I can’t be sitting at home crying, ‘he is not worth it!’ Another close friend made sure she drove round to take me out and even to church and I was encouraged every step of the way.

I don’t want to imagine what it would’ve been like trying to deal with this alone.

 

The manipulator at work

Jack finally calls and I’m like ‘Why? You asked me to trust you and I did! I took a step back, I was pulling away and you dragged me back in, only to have all this drama!!! Why? When you knew that you had all of this going on, why not just let things go when you had the chance? Where you ever going to tell me?’

 

‘How could I tell you any of this, it’s not the easiest of things to deal with and how would you have reacted? The pregnancy was a mistake, no one in my family knew that I had a child but now they know because “she” has called everyone. I left the country for a couple of weeks when I found out she was pregnant because it was not expected.  We were on and off, it wasn’t meant to happen!’ 

 

‘Why did you not say anything this whole time? Do you think it would never come out??And your wife???’ 

 

‘She’s not my wife!’ 

 

‘So, she just happens to have your last name and same address as you???’

 

‘No, it’s not like that… let me call you back!’ 

At this stage, I should have just blocked his ass and let go but it’s not that easy, I wanted an explanation. I wanted to understand. I mean, it made no sense to me whatsoever and I needed clarity on the whole situation so I was going to keep talking to him until I got the information because I deserved to know!!!  Crazy! I know but he wasn’t going to just get away with it.

I should also note that the girlfriend and I were still chatting. So the minute he hangs up I sent her a message to tell her what was said and when he spoke to her, she’d send me a message to let me know what was said however the “baby mama” was also telling Jack everything I told her adding her own side notes to our conversation … what happened to solidarity and all that, sisters sticking together… I clearly think too much of people sometimes. Here I thought we had something in common and we could stand together and get to the bottom of this huge betrayal but apparently it was each person for themselves! Fair Enough, she owes me nothing right?!

I say this because the next time Jack called and I was expecting apologies but he tried to flip the situation and basically he said he couldn’t tell me anything or explain because his conversations with me were being twisted and played back to him and that I had made up stuff about our relationship and told his girlfriend!

Hello proverbial slap!!!

How did we go from you being the issue to what I said and to whom?!? You cannot be serious right now!!!

I’m done! Call ends, his number deleted and I’m sooooo done! 

 

A few days later, I had been reading up on forgiveness etc and being the “good Christian girl” that I am (hehe) I sent a message, I’ll never understand but I forgive you!  Deleted all messages and that was that!

You’re wondering why I did that right. I wish I had just left things as they were but we live and learn.

When I sent the message, I thought that in order for me to fully forgive and start the healing process, I had to say to the person that I forgave them…

But that message prompted a regrettable sequence – my phone rings – hmmmm, that wasn’t meant to happen….

‘Hello…’ 

‘Oh I didn’t think you’d pick up’ 

Oh dear Lord please give me strength

‘I didn’t mean to, wish I hadn’t’ 

‘Can you talk? We need to talk’

 ‘No! I’m on the train home!!!’ Now that really should’ve been no, never call me again you sick SOB .

‘Ok, I’ll call you later’ 

‘FINE!’

 

Manipulation lesson 101 –

When you’ve offended someone, find a sob story and lay it on the person you’ve upset thick and fast. Apparently, that is supposed to make the offended party forget the issue at hand and feel sorry for you.

Does it work? Yes, when you really cared about the person however, it’s not a long term solution.

 

He called, we spoke, sorry I meant he spoke, about how he had been so ill since everything happened, how he would’ve called sooner to explain but he just was too sick (yes, please roll your eyes with me) we should meet up and talk things through. He didn’t think I’ll take his call and thought I’d have blocked him which would’ve really hurt him more than anything else…  me, me, me.

I’d like to point out at no point was there a “how have you been coping”. Nothing!

Conversation ended and we were back to messaging each other.  I have no idea what he thought was going to happen or maybe he thought he was back in but I was still after that explanation.

We made arrangements to meet up the following week and I thought finally, I will have an ending to this story and some sort of an understanding that will allow me to close this chapter and move on.     D Day arrives, I head out to the city and I dressed up, made sure I looked great! In my head, I was singing ‘best thing you never had, you turned out to be the best thing I never I had’ (the Beyoncé song) We walk to the bar in silence, I order a drink and we grab a table and nothing, so I decide to start the conversation;

‘So, what do you have to say about this whole situation?’

‘Why don’t you ask the questions and I’ll answer’

‘Off to a great start already….fine then!’

I started asking the questions, asked about his daughter and he confirmed, yes, it was his child and the girlfriend you claim you guys were on and off??

‘She’s my girlfriend’

‘She IS your girlfriend! Wow!!!

‘Your wife?’

‘I’ve told you, she is not my wife! I can’t go into details about how we are connected because that’s personal and I’m not going to share the details’

Wow!!! Ok… so that’s how this is going to go!!! I’m getting the attitude. This boy best watch himself, cause I’m about to switch!

‘So, you didn’t tell your “GIRLFRIEND” that you married her because you were trying to help her out with stuff???’

‘This is exactly what I said before, you guys seem to have become best friends talking all the time and sharing information about things. Then the things I say get twisted and I hear it from one of you and it’s completely twisted. If you guys already know everything then you should just keep talking to each other.  I don’t even want to say anything anymore’

‘Are. You. Being. Serious right now! Are you forgetting that the reason we are meeting is because of what you have done? You are in the wrong and you’re talking about people twisting your words and trying to switch things to what? Lay blame on who? Perhaps if you had tried being honest in the first place, you wouldn’t be getting this shit!!!!

Do you know what, you are scum, you do not deserve my time or to share the same air that I breathe. Delete my number and don’t ever contact me!’

 I grab my bag and walked out of the bar. One thing I do regret, is not pouring my glass of wine over him. That would have been so so good! I think. LOL. If I did pour my wine over him though, it wouldn’t have stopped there and I may be in jail right now for GBH or worse…. LOL

I walked out, deleted his number, blocked his ass and I felt so free! The question people ask, is if he ever tried to contact me. I have no idea. He still watches my insta-stories so I’ve now blocked him on that too. (I did not know you could block people on insta LOL).

A couple Sundays after this, our lead pastor preached on 360 degrees forgiveness. He used an epic example on how un-forgiveness works; when you are bitten by a snake, you can do 2 things, let the poison work its way through your system while being angry at the snake and trying to take out the snake or harm the snake and then it kills you OR, you realise that you’ve been bitten and you need to get the venom out, you let the snake go and you get yourself urgent help to get the venom out.

Same theory with forgiveness, trying to hold on to the grudge and wanting to exact revenge does nothing for you. You just become bitter and you hold yourself back. You have just got to let go and work on moving on and work on improving yourself.

When he finished preaching, I was in tears (probably)along with a few people in the service but I needed to hear that.

It was finally time to move on, I needed to stop plotting ways to hurt him, I needed to get rid of the poison fast before it consumed me and just let go! The minute I made that decision, I could feel the weights just fall off and I could start living again.  I made some rash decisions and went on a bunch of dates, maybe made some calls and started chatting to people I shouldn’t have but I knew there was no fulfilment in any of that and I needed to start living for me.

So, I am in a moment of singleness and I am enjoying me time. When the right guy comes along, I certainly will be ready because I know I won’t be holding on to any grudges or holding on to the past. Another thing I’ve learnt is that I am strong and I am unbreakable. When life pulls me back, I will keep aiming because something amazing is ahead of me.

The past can certainly define your future, you can either use it to make the best out of what is to come or you let it hold you back.